PAX~World News Breaks a Bad Habit
If you've been following the PAX~World News for awhile, you know that I get a
lot of inspiration from being in Colorado with my young horse, Hallelujah, and my
friend Michele Skerl. Lately we've been distinguishing what Training looks like in the
context of Partnership. By reverse-engineering the way Michele trains horses, we've
distinguished several phases in the creation of a new, empowering skill, practice or way
of being.
The first phase is "Breaking a Bad Habit" and, as I've talked to Michele about it, I've
discovered that intuitively we're pretty darn good at this at PAX. These are the steps
we've identified to break a bad habit:
- Assume there's a good reason for it to exist in the first place and find out what it
is. The reasons will include long-standing perceptions and beliefs that have made
that habit a good idea. For example, women have a habit of emasculating men.
But it comes from the misperception that men are misbehaving and therefore,
deserve to be punished and need to be weakened to keep us safe.
- Examine the mechanics of the habit. What are the actions, step-by-step, that add
up to the unproductive behavior? In Celebrating Men, Satisfying Women®, we
unravel each step of the unconscious thought process that result in men being
emasculated.
- Completely illuminate the cost of the habit. Since 1991, I've been talking to
women about the short- and long-term effects of emasculating men. The short-
term effects are a loss of power and an emotional response of rage or fury.
When is enraging a man ever a good idea? And the long-term effects reveal that
emasculating men has men relate to women the opposite of what comes naturally
to men. Instead of naturally admiring and cherishing us, emasculated men will
distrust women and compete with them. Instead of respect and generosity, an
emasculated man will have disdain for women and be stingy. And instead of
protecting women-the most natural thing for a man to do-an emasculated man
will protect himself from women.
- Create a new commitment. Bad habits aren't actually broken-they are replaced.
Since each habit is actually a day-by-day expression of an ongoing belief and
commitment, the trick is replacing an old belief and an outdated commitment
with one that is new and empowering. This actually takes all the struggle and
effort out of "breaking a bad habit." The new commitment naturally finds ways to
be expressed without a lot of struggle. If you're a graduate of Celebrating Men, Satisfying Women®, you have probably found that being in partnership with men
and celebrating them is easier than you anticipated.
- Find like-minded people who share your new commitment. This step isn't
necessary but it's helpful and makes creating a new, good habit a lot more fun.
Blessings to you and yours,
Alison
P.S.Each of our workshops starts by addressing the bad habits women have that
undermine their relationships with men and other women. For example, in Celebrating
Men & Marriage™ we start by illuminating the way women already relate to romance and
commitment that prevents them from having satisfying partnerships.
Our First Workshop for Men Only!
A man must be clear about who he is and what he needs before he engages with anyone. As you honor yourself, so will others honor you. By humbly embracing your greatness as a man, others will be eager to empower you.
Gentlemen~are you ready for A Hero's Challenge: Being an Extraordinary Man? Click here to find out more about this long-waited workshop for MEN ONLY based on Alison Armstrong's twenty-year study of men and women. You will develop a deeper clarity and respect for yourself as a man. You will acquire practical skills and tools for immediate use. You will have access to being a hero in your day-to-day life.
Space is Limited - Register Now
Making Sense of Men™
It's FREE, it's FUN, and in one evening you will learn things about men that will blow
your mind. Making Sense of Men™ is an evening seminar for women that delivers
powerful information you can put to use immediately. Join us in April and our seminar
leaders will teach you if another woman is spending your money. And you will learn why your "cavewoman within" is using your bank account to soothe her primitive anxieties.
If you are a graduate of Celebrating Men, Satisfying Women®, inviting your friends to Making Sense of Men™ is a wonderful way to share a taste of your new world. If you are new to PAX, come to the seminar to discover how we can help you. Reserve your FREE SEATS now!
|
